Category Archives: Friends

Adjusting to Change

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I’ve been back at school for three days now. It’s a different ball game altogether this year – new subjects to learn and officially being one of the older students in the school. I’m in a completely different class from last year and most of the familiar faces of last year’s classmates aren’t in my class – luckily I still have two of my closest friends in class with me. Not to mention that a lot of my dear friends have moved school this year – one is even migrating to another country! And I’m definitely not used to the freshmen looking up at my friends and I with a kind of awe – did I do that when I was new here? Even my chess teacher is different this year.

I’m not a stranger to change – over the past few years things have altered so fast and so much that when I look back on my past self in maybe 2007, I find that I don’t even recognize that girl anymore! I seem to have become a different person every single year since then, different people who don’t even ring a bell to my mind any longer. They seem like strangers – ghosts of a past life or something like that. Sometimes it sort of unsettles me, to look at myself in the mirror and not recognize the person staring right back at me.

I’m not gonna lie, I hate change. Not because change itself isn’t good, but because it loves to say “I told you so!” When something changes, it’s almost never positive, but then a little later, maybe a week, a couple years or even a decade later, you realize that it was for the best. And change shoves it in your face, like, “See?”

Anyhow, back to the original subject – getting used to this new, alien year at school. It’ll take some time to adjust to this new routine and everything in it. I don’t usually find it so difficult to adjust, but this – this is something else altogether.

I remember watching an episode of my favourite crime show, Bones. In it, the main character, Temperance Brennan finds herself dealing with a case she finds personal. A body of a rich woman is found in a bad part of town and she goes to investigate, and she finds several similarities between her and the victim – height, weight, favourite animal, etc. When she sees the victim’s ID photo, she finds that it looks exactly like her. When she asks her partner FBI Special Agent Seely Booth if he recognizes the victim, he says no. When she hears a recording of the victim’s voice, Brennan hears her own voice. Her colleagues begin to worry about her when she has difficulty being objective on the case as she relates very much to the victim, even in terms of love life.

She can’t sleep, so she returns to her lab late at night to continue working on the case, and Micah, a security guard, finds her there. He tells her about a lecture he attended – an experiment was set up where a group of people were made to wear glasses that made them see the world upside down.  For three days, the world was upside down for them (literally, mind you). But after three days, they were made take off the glasses and instead of seeing things right side up, everything was upside down. The conclusion of the experiment was that it takes the brain three days to adjust.

It took three days for Brennan and Booth to solve the case, and after those three days, Brennan looked at the ID picture of the victim and no longer saw her face staring back at her, but the real face of the victim.

I guess what I’m trying to say is – I’ve been at school three days. Maybe when I go back on Monday, everything will seem normal. Maybe my brain would have adjusted…or maybe it would still be stubbornly unadjusted. My brain’s a little weird.

Whatever the case, change is inevitable in life and we just have to adapt to it. Unfortunately. 🙂

The key to change…is to let go of fear ~ Rosanne Cash

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Just Tell The Truth

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awesomejakeman.blogspot.com

I love to sing. I love to dance. I love to write. Consequently, I’ve joined many groups that cater to all those passionate about music and the arts. It’s always been a fun experience for me.

Once, I was watching some performances by one of the clubs I decided to become a part of. The performances done were no-strings-attached shows – if you want to get up on the stage, you can, and it isn’t a competition, so you can just have fun! A particular girl stepped up to the stage and sang one of my favourite songs – completely off-key! It was no big deal, though. None of us were pros anyway. We were just there to have a good time.

When she got off the podium, I watched her rush to her friend’s side, fretting about her singing and asking whether she did alright. To my horror, her friend replied with a smile, “Don’t worry! You did great!”

Over the years, I’ve discovered that instances like that happen frequently – in fact, on a daily basis! Everyone is praising their friend’s singing, dancing, painting… and it’s all a lie. Some people would quote Bambi, “If you can’t say something nice… Don’t say nothing at all.”

But you see, that’s the point! Thumper didn’t say “If you can’t say something nice, tell a lie instead”. He said not to say anything! Of course, if you barely know a person, really, you shouldn’t say anything at all. But what if it’s your friend, asking you for your opinion? How can you not answer? Well, being a friend, you have to be honest with them and tell them what you really think, in a gentle way. Because in the end, if you tell them they did good when they didn’t, you’re just making them believe that they can do something when they really can’t. And if they get mad at you for not praising them, they obviously don’t care what you think, and are just fishing for approval and praises.

Putting it simply… Just tell the truth.